ODE TO AN EMPATH

Are you playing new strains of your guitar, 

Mysteries like the strings of my heart?

Using me when it suits your soul,

Shelving me when the sting subsides. 

And you wonder why I’m distant

So I come close and you shift it.

You can’t figure it out but you want my help,

But only at an arm’s length and never mind the drought.

The emptiness that stretches between 

Moments like a barren desert, 

and contact in the daylight?

Scorching! 

Yet again in the evening, 

It’s a cool icy barrel pressed against my lips

To silence the balm they eagerly give.

And not just to one but to many. 

You’d know that if you knew me at all.

The Fairest Tale In All The Land

If one were to ask me to name my 5 top movies, with no hesitation I would prattle them right off. In those top 5 is a cult classic that came on tv all the time when I was a kid and still does! I finally bought the movie as an adult, with all the added flare of commentary from the director and characters, because I just new the tv version cut out too many of the good parts. Every bit is a good part! I also had read the book as a teen, which is quite a feat in itself, and learned that there was so much more to this fairytale than I had imagined... are you ready for it?

The Princess Bride

Talk about perfection, this whole movie is my foundation of love. Corny? Maybe. Cheesy? Bring the tortilla chips! This movie is well worth the hundreds of hours I have put into watching it. Who could ever be more perfect than Westley! "A farm boy. Poor. Poor and perfect, with eyes like the sea after a storm..." Oh don't get me started, I will quote the entire movie!

I got the best compliment of my life once when a brother-in-law commented how I reminded him of Buttercup from the Princess Bride. ME?!? I mean, he meant Robin Wright, but I knew from the book that she was the most beautiful girl in all the land. The most beautiful in 100 years even! I even got a facebook quiz "What-movie-character-do-you-look-like" and it was her! Ok, so yes, needless to say it went to my head and has stuck with me ever since, even though the actual resemblance hasn't- ha!

Westley... Le sigh. How to even come close to finding one so idolized! One would think I would pine away for ever, like Jane in the movie Austenland. The trouble with idolizing men in movies is that they are playing a role and it's all just fantasy. Mr. Darcy doesn't exist! And neither does Westley... or does he? The Princess Bride portrayed to me what real love was, not some cheap shot at it like "The Notebook" kind of love- I went through a bad break up when that movie came out and I identified with the actress as an artist. I still hate that movie today! That love was so fake! As my dad would sarcastically say, "Hooray for Hollywood!" because it didn't even fool me for a second. True love is kind, and thoughtless, and sacrifice, and forever. Do you think it happens everyday?!  

As a kid, I finally met a Westley look-a-like, but he was in my own family. A cousin that's my age came every year to the family reunions from North Carolina. As we got older and played and hung out, I noticed he started looking more and more like Westley. I thought it was so cool! I don't know if he shares my love for the movie/book, I guess I never mentioned it to him, but I'm sure good taste runs in the family. He is still my favorite cousin to this day, not just for his Westley looks, but sorry ladies, he's found a love over in Guilder(that's Princess Bride talk for Canada). And Amanda Watt, you are still my best cousin ever, apparently there is a difference!

I am now reading Cary Elwes' book As You Wish: Inconceivable Tales from the Making of The Princess Bride, which brought on my thoughts for this blog post. I bought it a few years ago when it came out and I am surprised I haven't read it yet. It gives an even further detailed look into the making of the movie and I think I can see why it was so successful. Everybody that was cast loved the book and the characters, but especially Rob Reiner! With that kind of foundation, I don't see how it couldn't come off as real when everyone involved believed it too! If you've never watched all the extra footage and commentaries that come with the special edition DVD, then it's a must! Even the soundtrack opening song is amazing.

And lucky me. I eventually found a farm boy of my own turned swashbuckling husband. My children are already growing up with it as a staple of featured films in our home. Adam thankfully likes the movie and will watch it with me. He doesn't really like for me to quote the whole thing when we watch it together(I still mouth the words), but every now and again he'll surprise me with an "As you wish" of my very own.

Aleksandra Safronova Graybeal AKA "Shirley" Graybeal AKA Mutti

Aleksandra Mikhailovna Safronova Graybeal is my grandmother. A beautiful petite Ukrainian woman with a huge heart and spirit. Tripp's middle name Aleksander is after her. We called her Mutti, which is German and my dad called her that. I think about her a lot when I work in the garden. I remember being 3 and we were living with my grandparents in Kathleen, GA. We had a big garden. I remember snapping peas, digging for potatoes, and shucking corn. I also remember eating her homemade pickles, blueberry and strawberry muffins(out of the package), and her chicken and mashed potatoes- YUM!! She would wear a scarf around her head and work out in the garden, growing huge tomatoes from plants that were taller than her! I remember climbing a pile of hay in the barn and literally getting ants in my pants, which were blue corduroy with alphabet letters on them. I remember that I got stung by a bee for the first time while I played on the wooden fence in my little sundress. I remember finding a men's razor in the bathroom and slicing my thumb when I tried to shave it with toothpaste. I also remember sleeping in sleeping bags in front of the tiny TV and watching the old black and white King Kong movie- a real snoozer back then.

Funny how your earliest memories are so vivid and vague at the same time. Like, I have memories of times when I'm very young, but I absolutely have no memory of my father living with us... at all. And there were two more kids after me! You may find that sad, and I do too, but it's kind of funny to me. How does that even happen? I mean, sure it means that he probably wasn't there a lot and when he was, he just didn't interact with me much. But I guess I didn't pay very much attention to him either. I was always drawing or outside playing and it's a true miracle that I survived- no offense Mom :) My grandfather and Mutti were blessings for us and good examples to me. After my mission, I met a guy at a church dance named Daniel. He was from around Macon, Ga and I attended his ward down there and when I introduced myself in Relief Society, some of the women asked me if I was related to Ron and Shirley Graybeal. Ron is my grandfather's name, but Shirley?? What you talkin' bout Willis? I went home and asked my mom and she said that Shura was a nickname that my grandfather called my grandmother and that instead of Shura, people called her Shirley. Bwahaha!! That made me laugh and I was really relieved to hear that too.

Mutti would tell us that we shouldn't waste our money on McDonalds because we would just poop it out later. She ALWAYS smelled of garlic! Maybe that's why I love garlic so much. She lived an extremely hard life as a child and as a young woman and mother in her first marriage. She had an article about her printed in a magazine called the Ensign. Click on this title to read it: On the Wings of Prayer

This is a photo of my dad's family-

 Ronnie, Aleksandra, Ronnie Jr, and "Deanie"

Doesn't my grandfather look like Vincent Price? 

Her father Mikhail

Her mother Anna