Hoarding...

Like the dragon Smaug hoarding his mountain of stolen gold in The Hobbit by J.R.Tolkien, I hoard clothes. I'm not proud, nope. No. It's just an observation that has now become quite obvious and too hard to miss once you have as many kids as I do! But this tendency, nay, obsession that I have, developed a long time ago. I was one of those middle children who never got what they wanted out of the donated bags of clothes that my mom brought home. Rachel and Sarah got all the good stuff, possibly there was stuff for Bekah, but maybe a shirt or one pair of Jordache jeans(I still remember the shiny pink thread subtly running through the denim like some funky pin stripe) that I was able to claim for my own. Now, 20+ years later, the addiction is rearing its bulky head from the shallow depths of my upstairs closets!

 A youth from my church had a clothing drive today and I decided it was time to purge my home and my soul of the laundry menace in this house. Seriously, it's like reaching into Mary Poppins' tote bag of a bottomless pit laundry basket! I donated 4 huge white bags and still have a bazillion to even go through! I have a strategy. I'm not just going from one extreme to the next and tossing it all out, so that I am never "cured" of this Scrooge-like tendency and go on a "yes-I'll-take-those-off-your-hands" clothing binge. I'm counting out 14 outfits of all sizes, 7 winter and 7 summer. Then 14 more of the same to store as "extra" in the attic in case of muddy puddles, red kool-aid stains, etc. Lastly, 4 church outfits, 2 stored away. I'm exhausted already thinking about all the work that lay ahead, but it is so necessary for the maintenance of my home. I'm like the hub of everything here. If mommy is sick, lazy, distracted... things don't get done and speedily decline in cleanliness while rapidly increasing in quantity. How is that even possible? It sounds like physics but works like some evil black magic.

I recently decided that I need to down-grade and simplify materialistically(yet realistically) in order to truly appreciate the things that I do have. This beautiful house for instance. Now yes, it needs a good exterior painting job, new floors, and just an all around make over, but it is a really beautiful house. Especially when it is not cluttered with paper and other junk that has no purpose and definitely does not add to the decorum of the room. I've realized that these emotional attachments that we make to material things can be very tangible and dangerous if left unchecked. I'm not talking about the physical act of hoarding now, but the effect on our spirituality. It isn't a sin to want nice things, but are they uplifting the spirit in your home and creating an atmosphere of welcome-ness and peace. Yeah, not so much around here. I know that when Adam comes home from a long, hard and fast-paced day at work, he would be able to leave his burdens at the door to walk into a home of love and support. How could he not? This isn't all on me, I know it, but it is a very real concern of mine that my husband WANTS to come home and be home. My kids too. I grew up not spending a lot of time at my house, and by the time I was 16, I was living with friends and had a hall closet filled with my only belongings... wow. Yeah, you can see that addiction developing, huh?

Well, like so many other things that I've learned, a mother sets the mood of her home. I know there are exceptions to any "rule", but this one sits very close to home for me. If I lose my cool, all @%#? breaks loose! Lil' Evil meets Evil Devil and my poor children have no idea what I'm capable of and my delicate-on-the-inside husband would be totally mind blown. But who wants that? Not me. I want simplicity. I want peace. "I'm a minimalist at heart," says the lady with 5 kids. 'Tis true though. It's like a blank canvas. A still, flaccid reflective lake. Any moment a child's piercing scream could break the tranquility, but I tend to think peace promotes peace. A peaceful environment will create a peaceful existence. And don't think about those exceptions right now, you'll break the spell...