Father's Day

So most of you know that my father lives with us. He is only staying for a few months, hopefully. It is so hard for me, but I am working on it. I know that Heavenly Father is working with all of us here. But why? Do I really have to have a relationship with my dad? Can't I just keep the pleasantries that we've had most of my life? I am a note leaver, which means when something is bothering me and I don't trust myself to communicate it well, then I will write you a note. Which probably still leaves much to be desired, but it saves me from speaking first, thinking after, and apologizing later. I can do it all at once in a note, ha ha. I just don't want to "be real" with him, because it will be like 25 years of emotions exploding all at once in a million directions and I don't think our relationship could survive that much shrapnel damage. He is very special to the Lord, I know that and believe it, and it means so much to me to think that we really loved each other in the pre-existence and we knew each other well, and that in the next life we'll know why things were the way they were here. I'm really okay with that, so can I be off the hook? I went shopping for a Father's Day card, awkward seeing as the only cards for fathers were the ones that spoke of years of teaching, protecting, and etc. I kind of settled for a little kid card for him. I got a card that said on the front, What is a daddy?" I didn't catch the pun, but Adam sure thought it was funny. I don't think it came across that way, and I sure didn't want to. I tried to relay some of my most sensitive feelings to him in a non formal way. He said he liked it. I guess I compensated for my ineptitude by buying tons of stuff for Adam. He got the shirt, the pants, the tie, the watch, i.e. all that he has wanted in the past six to eight months. He is just a wonderful husband and father compared to, you know, what I know of those kinds of relationships. Not that I have ever compared him to my dad, but I compare it to my life, and I'm grateful to have him. I am also grateful for a wonderful father-in-law that was such a great example for Adam. And my mom is the most Christ-like person I know, to live in the same house with that man. I am so lucky to have her and for all those years, she got the card on Father's Day. Happy Father's Day Mom! I am getting to know my dad better, his good side that is- which is that he has his own way of caring and loving. You really can't expect an old dog to learn knew tricks, especially if the old ones are just personality traits. Does that sound bad? Maybe I'm learning more about him than I'd like, but I'm glad for it. But it has been the longest two months ever!